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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615825">Disconnected (Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thespareoom/pseuds/thespareoom'>thespareoom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, War, big sad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:20:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,070</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thespareoom/pseuds/thespareoom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Reader reflects on how much has changed since she and Obi-Wan were Padawans together</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Obi-Wan Kenobi/Reader, Obi-Wan Kenobi/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Disconnected (Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Nothing was the same anymore.<br/>The thought formed in your head, uninvited and intrusive, reminding you again of a truth you so rarely acknowledged. The Obi-Wan Kenobi who stood on the other side of the Temple courtyard was a stranger to you. His movements, his seriousness, the way he spoke, the way he held himself. The war had changed you both, but it still shocked you every time you remembered that he wasn’t the same. A month had passed since you last spoke, and even then, all you had discussed was strategy. Argued about it, really. His eyes bore into yours, icy and sharp, as you paced around the Council chambers debating some conflict you didn’t even remember now. When was the last time you had asked about him, about how he was doing?  You wracked your brain for a single detail about his life other than the war and came up with nothing. Even before the Separatists attacked, there was distance between you. He had a Padawan, so did you. Missions became more frequent, duties weighed down on you both. You’d lost track of each other. Time and conflict got in the way, and now? He was no more familiar to you now than any other member of the Council. A respected leader, a general, but no longer a friend.<br/>You leaned back against a column and remembered a time before when he had seemed more familiar to you than you were to yourself. He laughed so easily then. Loud and melodic like bells chiming on a windy day. Everything was easier then. Some days, when it was warm and the sun softy kissed everything it touched, you worked out in the greenhouse instead of in the library. Sometimes on days like those, when you finished your work before him, you tried to stick as many leaves into his shirt as possible, just to see if he would feel it. He always pretended not to notice. Sometimes he’d scoot up between your legs and ask you to braid flowers into his long soft hair. He always said lilies were his favorite, and you tried to bring them with you as often as possible, just in case he asked. He always looked so relaxed in those moments, eyes closed and leaning slightly into your touch. Being around him felt like drawing near to a star, bright and warm, gravity pulling you closer and closer even as it burned you up. <br/>“Hello.”<br/>You blinked away the memory to find Obi-Wan in the present, standing in front of you, concern stitched into his brow. <br/>“I could hear you thinking across the room.” This close, you noticed for the first time the wrinkles starting to form around his eyes, across his forehead. You resisted the urge to reach out and smooth them with your thumb. His gaze was intense and serious like it always was these days. “Everything okay?”<br/>“Of course, Master Kenobi.” You gave him a terse nod and started to walk away, but his hand gripped your arm, stopping you.<br/>“I would like to have dinner with you tonight.” He was so formal, as if you were strangers. But then again, at this point you were. <br/>You nodded again, less harshly this time. <br/>“I’ll cook. Come by my quarters later.” You quickly turned from him and walked away. A tiny spark of hope began to bloom inside of you, letting you believe for a moment that maybe you’d find your way back to each other, that he might feel like home again. <br/>But it wasn’t the same anymore.<br/>You both sat in silence, pushing food around the plate, not eating anything. An ache grew in your chest as you remembered all the previous times you sat here, just like this. He used to try to help you cook, even though he only made things worse. But he always cleaned up, that was his job. You’d lounge around in this very spot, feet propped up on the table, gossiping the nights away. His booming laughter would echo off your walls, filling up the space with his warmth and kindness. The contrast between those times and these was so sharp. Your quarters now felt almost cold, devoid of life, of love.<br/>“Why are you here?” you whispered, breaking the silence. <br/>“I don’t really know.” He finally looked up at you for the first time. He almost looked lost, like he was expecting you to find him in all this mess and ground him again. But you couldn’t save him from drowning any more than he could save you.<br/>The silence stretched on and on, and once it became too much to bear, he gathered his cloak, and stood. You walked with him to the door, unable to look him in the eye, hoping something, anything, might change. That you’d look at him and he’d be the Obi-Wan you remembered. The one who slipped you little notes during lessons with a joke he heard another Padawan tell. You hoped maybe if you waited long enough, you’d become the person you once were. Someone who spent hours scouring the lower levels for a vendor who sold his favorite fruit. But when you finally looked in his eyes, you realized how foolish you had been to think him coming here would change anything. Too much was different, too much time had passed. The people who used to lay for hours in the sun together no longer existed. He held your face in his hands and pressed his lips against your forehead.<br/>“I’m sorry,” he murmured into your skin before disappearing into the night. <br/>Because nothing could be the same again. The pain you’d both seen, the people you’d become to deal with it. There was no way to revert to the past where everything was bright and whole. Turning to look back at the empty room, you felt his absence more acutely than you had in years. Everything looked a little grayer than it was before, a little more lifeless. The weight of your grief made you double over. Grief for the people you used to be, for a time that was so much simpler, for the friend who made you feel like you belonged. Climbing into bed, you let the grief take you over, pull you into darkness, and you let yourself remember for once who you used to be: a Padawan who loved another.</p>
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